Practice Description
I work with individual adults, couples and currently co-lead two types of groups: A Mixed Adult Group (for men and women) and a Men's Group. I do counseling and psychotherapy. Counseling concerns specific conscious problems that are either ongoing or urgent, and need to be addressed first. I typically work out a verbal contract with my clients about why we are meeting and what issue or issues we are attempting to resolve. It is very important for me to be "on the same page" concerning this. If a client wants to go further than an imminent crisis then I work diligently with that person(s) to come to an understanding of what this is and how this is done, in short, my own and the client(s) responsibility in this process.
Couples work with me is about individuation, intimacy and smart coupling. However, before we get to this place, each person in the couple has to decide if they are willing to be in couples therapy. This means facing their individual resentments, fears, and responsibilities. I do this at a pace that is conducive to real growth (not too fast, not too slow, always keeping in mind the concerns of the couple). Unfortunately, many people come to couples therapy AFTER they have decided to get a divorce. If they had come two, or even one year earlier, it may have been different. Resentments held too long create destruction. However, if the couple is willing to start opening up about what they are feeling, in a non-destructive way, then they can salvage their marriage and even co-create a Great Marriage. For the record, I have been married for 18 years and have a wonderful marriage.
This is how therapy with me usually goes: 1) A specific crisis of some kind propels the client to be referred to me. 2) We work on the crisis and it usually gets resolved in a relatively brief time. 3) The client either ends the therapy at this point or begins to see the purpose of further therapy, which is to address deeper personal growth issues. These usually concern self-worth; ongoing stuckness; consistently experiencing unfulfilling relationships; fear of Life, and more. These larger issues take time to emotionally work through but many people I have worked with over the past 20 years have consistently reported the value of their time and money spent with me.
As a psychotherapist I emphasize personal integration. This means that I relate to the client in such a way as to promote this integration. I am primarily influenced by Carl Jung and Experiential Psychotherapy. Briefly, Jung postulated a "personal unconscious" and "Collective Unconscious" (later called the Objective Psyche). The analogy of your computer is helpful here: Your RAM (what is on your screen now, or immediately accessible) is your consciousness, what you are aware of right now. Your hard drive is your "personal unconscious" which is everything you have experienced in life up to this point stored. The internet is like the Collective Unconscious in that it is beyond you as a person but you are part of it. It is the stored data of the entire Life experience. You are like your computer in that you can access your "hard drive" and "internet" for the purpose of furthering awareness that leads to growth. Integration therefore is knowing the "rest of you," which impacts your life (sometimes negatively) in ways you may not be aware.
Experiential Psychotherapy is founded on the belief that people change through experience first, not insight. So, if you want to ride a bike you can read a book about it but eventually you have to get on that bike and fall a few times before you get the hang of it. Then you can ride for life. In many ways this is what your therapy would be like with me. Another belief in Experiential Psychotherapy is that the personhood of the therapist is essential for the therapy work. In a very real sense I work to be the catalyst that helps you become more authentically you.